So, on the way back to work from lunch, we noticed Game had a demo of Playstation Move in-store for people to try out. Naturally, we went in and had a go.

Matt:
It’s rubbish, ain’t it Paul?

Paul:
Crap.

Matt:
Admittedly, you have no PS3, but I do and still have zero intention of buying that.

Paul:
I think that says enough about it. We have to be fair though; we did only play it for about 5 minutes, if that, but we did get some viewing others in there too. It’s not that it’s bad technology, I mean, the graphics were obviously going to be decent due to it being on the PS3, but all I thought throughout using/watching it was ‘This is just a Wii’.

Matt:
We played some fighting game of some sort, and the tech seemed to do a fine job of replicating your move (I found it similar to Wii Motion Plus), but this is purely Sony’s attempt to cash in on the motion gimmick, but frankly I don’t know many PS3 owners who are gonna get much out of it. And any grandma’s out there already own Wii’s.

Paul:
Thing is, many PS3 owners I know are or have at some point been Playstation fanboys, which means anything and everything Playstation is generally considered to be godly in some way. This means that, despite Playstation Move essentially being a Wii with better graphics, an EyeToy, and colourful bright lights on the end of your controllers, this will likely be hailed as being much better than Wii, totally different and unique, and super mega fun, when in reality it’s just the same thing. I’m sure it should be a lot of fun, but the only thing I felt was stupid when I was waving around a giant glowing sex toy in front of our colleagues. The Wii and it’s motion-controller technology came out in 2006… That’s four years ago! How late this piece of kit is to the motion race is nothing short of epic, and the same goes for the Xbox 360 Kinect.

Matt:
Speaking of fanboys, didn’t you preorder Kinect?

Paul:
Yes, I certainly did, but I was under no illusions about it being any good and had no shame about my plans to put it on eBay if it truly was rubbish. I’ve also since cancelled my pre-order, a move which I consider pretty wise when someone (likely you) said the £120 it will cost could be put toward something better and more useful. Such as, perhaps, beer? Don’t get me wrong, any progress in gaming technology that could get us ever closer to some kind of virtual-reality gaming magnificence akin to the the holodeck in Star Trek – or even better, the Matrix – is something I’d like to keep my eye on, but with the massively differing opinions from those who have tested it, it’s not something I’m happy to take the plunge with anymore when it costs quite so much.

Matt:
Hell yeah. I look forward to the day we can have a fully virtualised wars with tanks and lasers and jetpacks, all from the safety of a personalised gaming pod in your living room. Oh yeah… Until then, we have to settle for flailing dildos.

Paul:
Flailing dildos and dancing about like a muppet in front of everyone; it’s not the most appealing way to spend your evenings in, is it. Then again, at least its sociable and everybody can get involved (unless you have no legs, really sorry about that), which I’m pretty sure is one of the most important and larger focuses of motion controlled gaming technology today. I mean, how else are you going to get grandma to get off her fat lazy arse and join in with the kids at Christmas? If the main focus truly is to get the whole family playing together and being a little more active, then kudos to those in the industry trying to do something about it. But in the mean time, I’d really rather stick to games that are actually good and don’t require me to jump around like a raving lunatic.

Matt:
You still need a PS3. I’m so lending you mine next spring when the Ico HD remakes are released.

Paul:
Fine by me!  I’m dying to play Shadow of the Colossus.  Anyway, motion control games (mostly) suck, real control-pad games win.  Next!